She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
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we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
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Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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