So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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