ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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