I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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