How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize