a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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