He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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