I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
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I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
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I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize