At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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