Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
