32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
make that 40.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
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The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
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Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff