So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth