Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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