yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
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All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
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The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
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