he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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