Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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