I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
