The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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