now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
His hands were made for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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