Pregnant stripper...not hot.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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