one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
