She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
