I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
