i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
