Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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