I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
