I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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