Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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