stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
