Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
