you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
