he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
