I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize