I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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