Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he shaved USA in his pubs
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
