can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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