What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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