I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
