How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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