But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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