My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
