You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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