i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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