how can u be prego again
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just pynch a tree in the face
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
