batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
