4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
