just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
