I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
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his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
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You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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