they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I need water and some morals
Randomize
