i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
