I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
