this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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