I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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