Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
