would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
