can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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